


if it means anything at all, i was hoping it was you too

by hoywfiction



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Drabble, F/M, M/M, Pining, Soulmates, and it hurts like all hell when they realise, bellamy and murphy are in love, but they aren't each other's soulmate, i guess this is technically a bellarke fic too but i'm not gonna tag it as such, let me know if you want this expanded...?, this is just filler while i work on a chaptered murphamy fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-03
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-10-27 09:40:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10806549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoywfiction/pseuds/hoywfiction
Summary: Everybody gets a soulmate mark when they turn eighteen. When Murphy turns eighteen, his and Bellamy’s don’t match, even when they were almost certain they would. Then Clarke turns eighteen, and hers matches Bellamy's... And he’s never felt so wronged in his entire life.





	if it means anything at all, i was hoping it was you too

Clarke went to Raven, to display the new mark and to maybe get excited over it with her. Bellamy didn’t go anywhere at all, he just stood there, staring blankly at his wrist and wanting to just… cut it off of his body. But before he could get around to that there was a hand on his shoulder, and he turned around to look into eyes he imagined were just as numb as his own.

“So Clarke,” said Murphy, voice void of all emotion. Absently, Bellamy nodded, lips parting with words he knew he couldn’t say. “Figures. You guys make sense.”

The older boy reached up, placing his own hand over Murphy’s where it rested on his collarbone. They looked at one another for what felt like an eternity, the same thought rushing behind their eyes, clear as day:  _ Don’t go, don’t leave me, don’t go, don’t leave me, don’t go, don’t leave _ —

“I don’t want to make sense,” Bellamy said quietly, as if he were afraid of the words. Murphy swallowed hard, but even so he smirked, tossed on the mask that he was so used to wearing.

“If it means anything at all,” he said gently, slipping his hand away and replacing it back at his side, “I was hoping it was you too.”

“Maybe in another life it was,” Bellamy responded, already hearing familiar footsteps returning. Murphy dipped his head, rubbing at his arm, at his mark, like he could wipe the mystical ink away if he scrubbed hard enough at it. Smear away the cursed mark that just  _ didn’t match _ , didn’t fit. The one that declared that Bellamy wasn’t his soulmate after all.

“Too bad I’m living this one then.” And just like that he turned and walked away, right as Bellamy felt Clarke’s hand on his arm. As he watched the smaller boy go he couldn’t help the sinking feeling in his chest, like his heart was drowning.

“What was that about?” Clarke asked innocently, and Bellamy knew he’d have to pretend everything was alright, that he didn’t feel like he was breaking, that he didn’t want to run after Murphy and hold him and tell him he loved him. Because the universe had decided that he  _ didn’t _ love Murphy, not enough. He wasn’t supposed to.

“Just… Murphy being Murphy,” he said gruffly, offhandedly, like the words they’d exchanged had meant nothing. He smiled at Clarke, and she smiled back. She hadn’t killed her soulmate when she’d run Finn through, so she had to have been relieved. Bellamy looked up just as Murphy was slipping into his tent at the edges of the camp, and he wished with everything he had that he could feel the same.

“Oh. Well should we… go celebrate or something?” Clarke asked, and though he felt more like tossing himself off the top of the Ark, he nodded. So that night, Bellamy drank his sorrows away in at least a gallon of hard liquor. In the morning, when he discovered that Murphy had left the camp with Jaha, that was when he cried.  _ I was hoping it was you too.  _ A ghost of a love never declared… He just wished he loved Clarke the same as that.

He really did.


End file.
